Real estate is all about contracts. We negotiate them on behalf of our clients. We amend them during escrow. We make concessions and compromises. We make decisions along the way that can affect the success or failure of the transaction.

Life really isn’t that different.

Every day, we are negotiating relationships – with family, friends, coworkers and people we interact with along the way. We compromise. We give people the benefit of the doubt. We forgive. We make concessions because sometimes preserving the relationship matters more than being right.

But here is something I keep learning – and apparently need to keep learning.

Sometimes people behave badly. They can be cruel. They misrepresent the truth. They disappoint us. And too often, in an effort to keep the peace or preserve a relationship, we keep making concessions.

At some point, you have to ask yourself if you are compromising – or simply accepting behavior you shouldn’t.

There is a difference.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending something didn’t happen. Grace doesn’t require us to ignore behavior that hurts us. And keeping the peace shouldn’t mean losing our own in the process.

In real estate, when the terms no longer work, we address them. We communicate. We renegotiate. We try to find a way forward that works for everyone. And sometimes, despite everyone’s best intentions, we have to accept that the terms have changed.

Maybe life requires a little more of that.

Give grace. Forgive when you can. Be willing to compromise. But also give yourself permission to establish new boundaries when you need them.

Some relationships need an amendment. Some need new terms. And sometimes, the most gracious thing we can do – for ourselves and for others – is simply accept that things have changed.

And I have learned, that’s okay, too.