Doors should be pretty simple. You walk up, grab the handle, open the door and walk through. Yet every once in a while, I find myself wondering why the door won’t open when I push.

Of course, I don’t immediately assume I’m doing it wrong. I push again. A little harder, because clearly the problem is the door and not me. Then I finally notice the little sign that says PULL and casually look around to see if anyone witnessed what just happened. It got me thinking about how often we do this in life and business.

I get a lot of calls from agents frustrated with the other agent in a transaction. They’re difficult. They’re rude. They don’t know what they’re doing. They’re meanies. And sometimes…they’re right.

But here’s something I really want you to remember: a real estate transaction should not be combative between agents. Your job isn’t to like the other agent or prove you’re smarter than they are. Your job is to represent your client, protect their interests and get the transaction to the finish line.

Sometimes that means you need to stop pushing. When something isn’t working, our instinct is often to push harder. Talk more. Send another email. Explain ourselves again. Prove our point. Match someone’s attitude with a little attitude of our own.

But what if we’re pushing when we should be pulling? Maybe instead of telling, we ask. Instead of responding immediately to that irritating email, we pick up the phone. Instead of proving someone wrong, we figure out what they need to move forward. Sometimes changing your approach can completely change the conversation.

That doesn’t mean being a pushover. There is a big difference between being professional and being passive. You can be firm, protect your client and hold your ground without making the transaction personal. Sometimes resistance doesn’t mean stop. It simply means we need to change how we’re approaching something.

Wouldn’t it be nice if life came with those handy little PUSH and PULL signs? There are also doors that really are locked. No amount of pushing, pulling, knocking or rattling the handle is going to open them. Knowing when to stop trying to force open a locked door is just as important as knowing when to keep trying.

I think the trick is learning the difference between persistence and simply doing the same thing harder. So, if you’ve been pushing really hard on something and it isn’t moving, don’t immediately assume you need to push harder. Take another look at the door. Change your approach. Look for the sign you may have missed.

And before you decide the door is locked…try pulling.