Real estate can be a lot.

This is a feast-or-famine business. We’re basically unemployed after every closing. Buyers text at 10 p.m. wanting showings the next morning, and some have more personalities than we can count. Sellers lose their minds over pricing. Friends betray us by using their cousin’s best friend who got their license five minutes ago.

And even with all of that… we love it.

So how do you unwind? Seriously. Can you even answer that? And do you even recognize when you’re stressed?

I’ve tried to meditate many times. I even own a singing bowl. I’ve done guided meditations, read the books, listened to the podcasts. I’ve really tried.

But I’ve only truly experienced meditation once. On a beach in La Jolla, during a full moon, while a woman walked around waving sage. I swear I felt like I was floating. It was real, but fleeting. Not sure if it was meditation or witchcraft, but either way, I’ve never been able to replicate it.

I wake up sometimes at 3:23 a.m. (it’s always either 3:23 or 3:28), wide awake and solving yesterday’s problems. Zero chance of going back to sleep. They don’t call it the “witching hour” for nothing. And the next day? It shows. I’m tired, I’m stressed, and I’m not operating at my best.

So I’ve worked really hard to understand how I tick. I’ve become conscious of what gives me a sense of calm, and I prioritize it.

To protect my sanity (and my sleep), I’ve created daily rituals, my “switches,” to shut it all down.

I deprogram with audiobooks, music, or a podcast. Anything to pull me out of the day, which, like yours, can be a lot. Once I’m home, every night, even in the summer, I light a large tray of candles, turn on my diffuser, and let that be my signal to stop stressing and just be present. I’ve done this for decades.

One of the biggest realizations I’ve had is simply acknowledging when I’m stressed, and then asking myself:

If I stress about this, will it actually change anything? Do I have any power to change the outcome?

I’m not saying don’t worry. I’m saying being present instead of constantly worrying is a better way to live. Trust me, I’m still working on this too.

When I feel overwhelmed, I come back to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Here’s what it’s taught me:

Presence — Be fully in the moment. Not stuck in the past, not anxious about the future. Spinning in the past helps nothing.

Resistance — Let go of the need to control or fix everything. (This one is hard for me. I’m a fixer. But sometimes, it’s just going to be ugly.)

Acceptance — Accept what is. Even when it’s uncomfortable. The truth is the truth. You don’t get to dress it up to feel better.

So again, what’s your ritual? A walk? Yoga? Music? Meditation?

What’s your switch?

Because we all need one. And it should be intentional, something you recognize and honor.

Find your switch.